


don't you know the devil is a liar?

by queenofthestarrrs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, F/M, Jewish Tony Stark, Pepper Potts-centric, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 08:52:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19059322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofthestarrrs/pseuds/queenofthestarrrs
Summary: Pepper’s hands shook as she closed the door to the cabin. She glimpsed the empty house, boxes piled up to the ceiling, through space in the drawn curtains and blinked back stinging tears. Over five years of her life, the best and most precious and most joyful and most fleeting years of her life, erased over the course of an afternoon.





	don't you know the devil is a liar?

Morgan’s laugh reverberated through the dense trees and loudly over the clear lake. Happy and Rhodey played with her rambunctiously. They tossed her in the air, chased her through the woods, and dangled her over the water. A few weeks ago, which practically felt like another lifetime ago, Pepper might have chastised them. She would have told Morgan not to get her dress dirty, lest she goes without a dessert that night. She would have told Rhodey to be careful, to make sure he didn’t aggravate any of his injuries; he’d come so far and worked so hard in physical therapy. She might have even told Happy to help her clean up. But now, now she was just too grateful for the small ounce of joy they had brought into her daughter’s life. 

  
Pepper’s hands shook as she closed the door to the cabin. She glimpsed the empty house, boxes piled up to the ceiling, through space in the drawn curtains and blinked back stinging tears. Over five years of her life, the best and most precious and most joyful and most  _ fleeting  _ years of her life, erased over the course of an afternoon. 

 

Peter, Sam, and Bucky, who had all graciously volunteered to help, had boxed up Morgan’s toys and bedroom set within minutes. The kitchen had been done with even more efficiency. Non-perishables in the pantry would be donated to the local food bank. The cookware sets were boxed and sent off to a local religious charity that helped refugees get settled in the United States. Pepper smiled softly at the idea of families gathering together and eating kafta, curry, moussaka, cooked in the same pots and pans where she had crafted lasagna, pot roast, and omelets for her tiny family. The dining room and living room took a bit more time. The furniture wasn’t particularly heavy for people with super strength and robotic arms, but it was awkward. It took time and coaching for Peter and Bucky to carefully maneuver themselves through the narrow halls into the garage, where the employees from the local Goodwill would come to pick them up.    
  
That left Pepper to clean their bedroom on her own as Peter and Rhodey parched through some of the tech Tony had left in the garage. Some of it would be recycled for parts. Some Peter would try to keep working on with the help of Scott Lang. The suits would remain unused, locked up securely at the Avengers facility once it was finished being rebuilt. 

 

She packed her own things with ruthless efficiency. Her dresses, blazers, silk tops, and trousers were all covered by garment bags and left on the stairs for Sam to take down. Her jewelry, her makeup, and her toiletries went into a small tote bag. The rest of her clothes went into the large blue suitcase she always kept for international trips.    
  
Most of Tony’s things were also packed away in such efficiency. His suits and ties were packed into garment bags, to be sent off to the city for a non-profit that supplied professional clothing to people who couldn’t afford them. Some of his nicer watches were set aside in a box. She imagined that she’d give one to Rhodey, one to Happy, and one, of course, to Peter. She thought it would make a beautiful graduation gift. The small chest that Tony kept in the back of the closet was promptly loaded in the car, as is. It was filled with remnants from Howard and Maria. Wedding gifts from their in-laws, their wedding bands, Howard’s class ring from M.I.T, Maria’s pin from the Hebrew Aid Society, pictures from Tony’s childhood, were all carefully locked away. Pepper imagined adding a few things from Tony, a few things of her own too, and then giving it to Morgan when she was old enough to appreciate the near century of history it carefully held. 

 

It was the shirts that Tony used in the shop that tripped her up and made the tears pour from her eyes. They were mostly old band t-shirts, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, even one from a Tupac concert. Each one was covered in oil and lubricant stains, and they were soft from years of washing and wear. She carefully folded each one and placed them in her suitcase, smoothing out wrinkles as she went. His suits, his most expensive jewelry, even his wedding band, Pepper was able to pack away with ease. But these, these were Tony at his core. He was someone who would have been happy creating for his entire life. He would have been happy to make things to help people, but he would have never called himself fulfilled. Tony would have never settled for anyone but himself being on the line. 

 

That tendency was what took him away from her, but it was what made her love him.    
  


The click of the lock and a soft hand on her arm had brought Pepper back to the present moment. A gentle breeze drifted over the lake, and Pepper’s hair slowly lifted off of her shoulders. There were a few grey strands that weren’t there before. 

 

“You’ve been really strong today.” It was Sam, his hand still firmly on her arm. He looked earnest with his eyes splayed wide and his military-style sunglasses pushed up high on his head. In the distance, Rhodey carried Morgan towards the car. She looked sleepy as her hair cascaded over his shoulder. Her thumb hung precariously from her mouth. Happy had already slid into the driver’s seat of Pepper’s parked SUV. Peter and Bucky shuffled from side to side next to the moving van, clearly waiting for Sam to finish. The late afternoon sun on Bucky’s arm was practically blinding. 

 

“High praise from Captain America,” she responded back, with a forced chuckle. 

 

“No need for flattery. I already helped move all of your furniture.” Sam offered her a gentle squeeze. The pressure felt comforting. She didn’t realize how much she missed a genuine human touch, one from empathy rather than pity or guilt. “I just wanted to say you don’t have to be so strong if you don’t want to.” 

 

Pepper looked at him in confusion. 

 

“I had a real job, before all of this, and, I guess before I spent five years just  _ gone.  _ I was a counselor for the Department of Veterans Affairs. And in my free time, ya know, the little I had - I volunteered at Howard’s, the uh, the college, their mental health services, too. That was all when I lived in D.C.”    
  
He paused. “If you ever want to talk, I know a lot of really good people who specialize in Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and a few who specialize in working with kids and young adults. No pressure, but I really want you to know the resources always there if you want them. All of us are always here if you want or need us.” 

 

Pepper found herself unexpectedly hugging him. He felt firm and sun-warmed under her grasp. 

 

“Thank you,” she said and meant it. 

  
  


-

  
  


“Did you have a nice life, Steve?”

 

The nursing home was quaint. It had huge bay windows that looked out over the Hudson and a small garden that some of the local Boy Scouts had planted outside. There were plenty of nurses hustling to and from, interspersed with young volunteers clearing plates, cleaning up board games, and sweeping the floors. The radio played a soft instrumental tune above the chatter in the common room. Pepper still couldn’t help but notice there still was that lingering smell of near death and illness that seemed to permeate every medical facility. 

 

Steve still looked solid, even into his advanced age. The sun streamed beautifully off of his white and grey hair. He smiled softly back at Pepper and put his left hand on the table. His golden wedding band also shone brightly in the late afternoon light.    
  
“I had a life like everyone else’s, Pepper.” He looked off into the distance, out the window. He seemed to be cold, despite the late August weather. He carefully adjusted the plaid blanket he had over his lap.  There was a slight tremor in his hands. “There were parts that were good and then there were parts that were bad. But they were all worth it.”

 

There was an overwhelming sense of anger and bile that climbed up her throat and burned at the back of her mouth. She wanted, in a way to lash out, to tell him about the challenges of raising a child who would still periodically ask when her father was coming back or why he had left in the first place. She wanted to talk about the ache that still made its home in her chest. She wanted to lecture him about loss, but she thinks of friends falling from trains, years spent in ice, and the ghosts of his past.    
  
So she settled for  “We’ve seen our share of the bad, haven’t we? Some of us more than others.”

 

Steve slowly shifted his gaze from the window to meet Pepper’s eyes. His eyes were glazed over with tears, something that she didn’t expect. They made his soft blue eyes look like near crystals. He reached his hand out and placed it over hers. It was dry and papery, but it was a comforting weight. 

 

“I didn’t,” he spoke slowly, “ask you to come here to dig up old ghosts, Pepper. I’ve lived long enough to learn to let them lie, no matter how much you wish you could have done something different. There are just some things, some things that you just cannot change.” 

 

Pepper squeezed Steve’s hand. It seemed strange to her that she was worried that she would hurt him. “He didn’t hate you, Steve. He never really hated you. And he wouldn't have been mad at you for choosing to go live the life that you did. He wanted a world where no more people had to hurt, where no one had to make the kinds of sacrifices that you both did.” 

 

“A world like that will never happen, you and I both know that, Pepper.” Steve blinked away his tears. “The bad and good will always be found, regardless of what we try to do to swing the pendulum one way or another.”   
  
“But,” he continued. Steve squeezed Pepper’s hand, and the metal of his wedding ring dug against her engagement ring, It seemed interesting, at the moment, at least to her, that the two of them were still wearing the objects that symbolized their love. She wondered if there was ever moving on from great love, a beautiful story. “I wanted to keep bringing some good into the world. I know you don’t need the money, but if you meet the nurse working at the front desk - she has something for you.”   
  
“Steve -” Pepper started to protest.

 

“It’s the information for a bank account in Brooklyn. It’s close to a million dollars, and we both know that I don’t need it. But your daughter will. It’s plenty of money for her to finish school, college, and maybe even something beyond that at the best educational institutions in America. Whatever she wants to do, it’ll be fully funded.”   
  
Pepper gulped back a wave of emotion. They never needed this money, not with Tony’s life insurance and the way that Stark Industries was going. It was a touching gesture, though, and it did free up so much more to do so much more. She imagined helping pay off some of the debt from Rhodey’s medical bills, to help him pay for some new experimental treatments. She could see the look on May’s face when she could reassure her that Peter’s college education and expenses would be paid in full. She could feel the gentle pride in being able to finally pay off her parents’ mortgage. She imagined the thousands she could donate to charities for those with mental illness, to those with addictions, to children who lost their families. She could even visualize the beautiful garden she could open to honor Natasha and Tony, a place for beauty to grow from sacrifice. 

  
“I know, I know it’s just money. But right now, this is what I can do. I can help ensure that Morgan can do the same thing that I wanted for my children - the ability to follow their dreams, to make a change, to contribute something to this world.”   
  
“I don’t know what to say,” Pepper continued to hold his hand. She had lost her war with her emotions. Soft tears streamed down her face, most likely taking her mascara with her. “I’m grateful, for you, for all of you.”   
  
Steve smiled softly, tears welling around his eyes. “We were family, Pepper. I loved him like my brother. We fought, but all families do. And when the times get tough, the family comes together. We take care of each other.” 

  
  


-

  
  


Pepper curled herself into her bed. She pulled her weighted blanket over her shoulder and snuggled into the threadbare fabric of one of Tony’s work t-shirts. The snow was swirling in the New York streets below her, and Morgan’s costume for “The Nutcracker” hung like a specter from a hook on her closet door. She tossed and she turned and she twisted, and yet sleep evaded her.

 

It felt strange, her first holiday without Tony. There would be no Tony bursting through the door carrying a sad Charlie Brown-esqe Christmas tree with a lone Iron Man ornament. There would be no gathering around the fireplace as Tony recounted the story of Hanukkah to Morgan as they scarfed down jelly donuts. There would be no giggling sex before they tried to sneak as quietly as they could to set out their daughter’s presents without waking her up from her post on the couch. There would be no Christmas mornings with freshly baked pancakes that Tony would inevitably burn. There would be no cutthroat games of Dreidel to drift off through. There wouldn’t even be a lakehouse, now that Pepper and Morgan had fully moved back into Stark Tower, with its sleek lines and spacious rooms   
  
“Friday,” Pepper called out.

  
“Yes, Ms. Potts,” the machine called back in return. 

 

“Could you please play the video? The last bit, please?”   
  


The hologram of Tony popped up a few feet from Pepper’s bed. It was an old ritual of hers. When she felt tired or frustrated or just lonely, just hearing his voice was comforting. 

 

His eyes looked soft, she never noticed that before. He looked soft and tired, someone with the acute sense that such a message was needed but someone who never wanted it to be necessary. She wondered if he somehow knew that this was all going to be the end if he knew it was going to be the end from the time he drove away from their home with Steve’s shield in tow. Her heart broke for Tony if that was true. It broke for his courage, his ability to keep on going regardless of the circumstances. 

  
“Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to,” Tony, or at least the faint ghost of Tony, looked directly into her eyes. She felt hot tears run down her cheeks. She couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away. “I love you 3000.” 

  
Pepper pulled her blanket further over her shoulder. It almost felt like a hug.   
  
“Shall I play it again, Ms. Potts?”   
  
“No, thank you,” Pepper responded. She took a deep breath, summoning her own resilience. Everything would continue to work out the way it was supposed to, and Pepper would keep on moving forward. She would keep accepting love when she could find, and she would do her best to pay it forward. “Friday, could you send the hours of operation to the closest Christmas tree farm and a latke recipe to my tablet for me to review in the morning?”

**Author's Note:**

> check me out on tumblr - preppypotato. thank you in advance for all your love and feedback.


End file.
